Back-up keeper Rob Green is the latest member of the squad to give behind-the-scenes insight into life at Cobham, including which of his outfield team-mates he reckons could do a job between the posts, and the two young Chelsea stars who seem to speak in code.
Green also answers a question thought up by Cesar Azpilicueta, the last man to complete our Q&A on life at Chelsea…
Who has been the best player in training lately?
Other than myself? I think Callum in recent weeks has just taken another step. When I arrived within a couple of sessions I could see he was a talent.
You can come across people who can do it in fits and starts across a season, but now he is producing it on a more consistent, daily basis in the last couple of weeks. He will be something special.
Of the outfield players, who would also make a good goalkeeper?
Oli [Giroud] goes in goal sometimes in training for a couple of shots, but he seems quite scared of the harder shots. I’m going to go with Gary Cahill because he’s got a large square head like me so it fills up most of the goal.
Of the goalkeepers, who would make the best striker?
Consistently in training it’s me. I’ve got a variety of different ways to finish chances. On his day Willy can score five or six shots on the bounce which hit the top corner every time, so probably Willy.
Who is the biggest joker in the dressing room?
I immediately want to say Ross, but you’re going to ask me something like who’s the thickest and I’m going to have to say Ross again! He’s always trying to light the fire. Something will end up landing by your head, crashing around you. You know it’s him yet he’ll point to someone else and continually lie about who was the instigator.
Who is the quietest?
I’m going to have to say N’Golo. He’s just a very bashful guy. Getting up to speak in front of the lads on his birthday at the team meeting was probably his worst nightmare. He had to stand up and say a few words, and if it was possible he shrunk on stage.
Who is the loudest?
Gonzalo since he has arrived is a louder voice. The Spanish speakers tend to be quite effusive in the verbalisation of their emotions.
Who do you sit with on away trips? What do you do to pass the time?
I sit next to Ross and Billy the masseur. What do I do to pass the time? Anything to try not to speak to them! Never have an argument with an idiot. To keep my sanity on I put my headphones on and read my book.
Who is the most active on social media?
I have no idea about social media, but for dinner I sit with Ruben and he’s just got his head in his phone the whole time. It’s got a magnetic draw on him or his forehead’s really heavy, one of the two because he can’t lift it up to speak! Him and Andreas seem to communicate through phone alone when they sit next to each other. It’s either in code or they’re texting, because they rarely speak but they seem to know what the other one is talking about…
If you could watch any musical act at Under the Bridge, who would it be, and which players would you take with you?
Me and Ross have a similar taste in music. We would probably go to some house night together. He’s always banging on about Peggy Gou so that seems an obvious choice. I quite like her as well.
I would also like to take Davide Ranzato [fitness coach] just cause when I put house music on in the gym he always moans.
And the question from Cesar Azpilicueta – who has the worst dress sense?
It’s a difficult one because everyone wears tracksuits. I’ve never seen anything like it. Ruben by his own admission doesn’t even go into his wardrobe. The first thing he sees he puts on. He will drive the three minutes from his house to the training ground and it’s just a case of not being nude.